February 9, 2011

Dictator

I'm just gonna be honest. I've been very discouraged with my ability to homeschool my zebras. Pinky is a sweet girl, but we are having some behavior issues that are making it hard for me to enjoy her. I hate, that those words just came out of me, but it's true. I LOVE her with all my heart and would do anything for her, it's just...she's changed. I did some talking to God the other day about this burden I had for having Joy in raising my kids. After talking to God, he revealed to me that it was not Pinky that had changed it was me. I've been more of a dictator rather than a nurturing Mom. I'm pretty sure I would have some behavior issues too, if my Mom were the dictator type.

Then on that same day I read a blog that I frequent called Confessions of a Homeschooler. Erica and other bloggers are doing a series called 10 Days of Homeschool...{each blogger has a different topic} Erica's just happens to be about Enrichment. Day 2 was for me. Her first line was an eye opener to me . " I’d like to take a minute to talk about Homeschooling as a Ministry to our family." Hmm, Homeschooling as a Ministry to our family, is exactly what I needed to hear/read. My kids are in their training years and what am I teaching them by dictating everything they do...nothing. My kids hearts are very important to me and I have failed miserably at protecting them. Therefore, I have failed my Ministry.

I sent Erica an email personally thanking her for her words of encouragement and then proceeded to send that post onto my co-op friends. I know I am not alone in this, but most of us feel like we have to keep up the act that we have it ALL together. Well, I am here to tell you...I don't have it all together and I pray I never do. I need to be continually learning. The rest of our week has been great and I praise God for that.

This was all to say go check out the 10 Days of Homeschool...{at the bottom of Erica's post} there are some fabulous blog posts out there.

4 comments:

Jemma Stemmons said...

Love your transparency! As HS moms, we all go through different highs and lows. I'm so thankful for our co-op group, for Cheryl and for wonderful blogs and training opportunities that help fill our tanks. I couldn't do it first without leaning on God daily and second without the wonderful network of HS families that God has blessed us with. Thanks for sharing. Your an encouragement for others!

theotherteacher said...

Sometimes I feel the same way as you do. Sometimes I feel guilty that I home school - especially my socialite daughter. Sometimes I think about putting her back into main stream school - then I get a grip with reality and remember why I am doing this. Then I put a fat smile on my face, give her a huge hug and take her out some place fun. Then I feel better. I think we all go through those motions. This is a great and honest post :) thanks - btw I am stopping by from HHH!

musicalmary said...

Ruby, I have been struggling with my nine year old daughter's behavior for a few weeks now. It was good to read your post -- and I love Erica's blog, too. I'm so glad there is encouragement out there when we need it.

I'm a new follower of your blog!
Stop and say hello!
http://www.homegrownlearners.com

~Mary

Rusheika said...

You are so right- you are not alone! Keep on doing what you are doing!
Hopped ver from Hip Homeschool Hop!